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I'll get off my cell phone when you pry it from my cold dead fingers!


If only you drove as perfect as me.


My karma ran over your dogma.


I don't brake for pedestrians


Cover me. I'm changing lanes.


I'm in no hurry, I'm on my way to work.


Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?


Take your time, but hurry.


Speed kills, drive slow, get a Honda.


0 to 60... in 15 minutes.


This car has one gear, reverse (adhered on front bumper)


Save gas. Fart in a jar.


Don't Drink and Drive, You might spill your drink.


If you don't like my driving, stay off the footpath.


Hey idiot hand up! You are driving a car not a phone booth!


Stay back, learning to change gears.


Friends don't let friends drive naked.


If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!


Caution! Driver's applying make-up


CAUTION : Driver Singing


The kids drive me crazy, I drive them everywhere


Ass, gas, or grass nobody rides for free.


Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?


Forget about world peace... visualize using your turn signal.


If you think I'm a lousy driver, wait until you see me putt


As a matter of fact, I DO own the road.


Hang up and drive


Beam me to work Scotty, this traffic sucks.


Evacuate the road!!! STUDENT driving!!


If you are the lead truck, the scenery never changes.


I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.


It was only a lane change!


Don't like my driving? Dial 1-800-eat-shit


I drive this way just to piss you off.


Go on speeding, we'll cut you out (of your car ) -- Your Fire Dept.


Caution: Driver Sleeping.


Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.


If you can read this you are speeding.


Don't Think and Drive.


Get in. Sit down. Shut up. Hang on.


Caution I swerve and hit people at random.


So many pedestrians, so little time.


Lost your cat? Look under my tires


Caution: Travels at the speed limit.


<----Passing Side / Suicide---->


Hang up and drive I wonder how you'd drive with that car phone shoved up your ass?


I know I drive slow but at least I'm in front of you! (on back); Hi, Its me again! (on front)


Faster than a speeding ticket.


Stop reading my bumper stickers and pay attention to the road!


Caution: I drive like you do


I run over wannabees


Drive defensively, buy a tank


I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying


Life's Short...Drive Fast


ROAD RAGE: Next 20 mi.


Caution: Driver chews tobacco.


Horn broken, watch for finger.


Speed bumps excite me!


If you can read this I can slam my brakes and sue you!


If you can read this I have lost my trailer


Back Off! Driver Chews Redman


We don't need an encyclopedia, we have a teenager!


Kids cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause kids!


CAUTION- Backseat Driver!


Drive Offensively, Get Them


(on a big motor home) We are spending out kids' inheritence


If you can read this, you are where I want you. Behind Me!


Speed like lightning, crash like thunder